Last week i posted on my Facebook page about having a momentary fit of tears and self doubt, after a stressful interaction with the government (dunno about you but I always feel more nervous talking to those I consider in authority), the issue I was having was happily resolved, but my body needed to clear the stress I felt after said encounter.
This involved me crying, on and off for about 15 maybe 20 minutes. I meditate, not all the time, but regularly, and as a result I feel able to ‘watch my thoughts’.. and I shared that I found it interesting that despite the technical issue I was having (not my fault), my brain (inner bitch) went straight to ‘your not good enough’ thoughts…
A person on my facebook page, felt it appropriate to suggest I needed some counselling or medication to help with my mood disorder (I hid it – so don’t go hunting!). I couldn’t disagree with her more.
Her post gave me the impression she felt I shouldn’t cry – that expressing any emotion is a bad thing that requires therapy. I truly believe our emotions are our bodies way of processing what is happening. Tears in Chinese Medicine are a symbol of our letting go of thoughts, ideas, ex partners, expectations and so on. Whatever it is that we have created a relationship with – that’s how our bodies let go of it, by means of tears.
If I hadn’t allowed my body to do that at the time, then I’d probably still be ruminating over said interaction/problem, what I have been ruminating over was her suggestion haha! (hence the blog!)
It concerned me that someone felt a 15 minute greet over something that had caused me stress for a few days was inappropriate and needed help. I do seek support, (regular acupuncture, talking therapies, massage, rolfing, cupping, even anti depressants now and then and they ABSOLUTELY have supported me in so many ways) but allowing onself to cry, or get angry or whatever it is that you need, at that time, NEEDS to be felt and expressed, otherwise we can create stories around it and then it becomes a pattern for us, or we ignore it for so long that eventually we explode, have a breakdown, end up depressed or whatever it may be for you.
I think what I am trying to say is that is is OKAY to FEEL – I noticed years ago when people said they were feeling ’emotional’ what they meant was tearful (and have blogged on that in the past) – so it is seen as negative – joy is also an emotion, as is fear, worry, anger , sadness. If we want to live a full, exciting life, we have to accept/expect that these feelings are going to come up – and learn to embrace them, and let them go.
I’ve allowed anger to express itself with shouting and screaming, I was taught a ‘silent scream’ which I love. I have been known to take myself to a wind farm and pound my chest like Tarazan and scream at the top of my lungs – it let out a whole load of anger . I watch movies that I know will make me cry and laugh (Little Miss Sunshine & Steal Magnolias being my two favouite go tos when I need a good cry), fear and worry I deal with by breathing lots (again with the box breathing) and get my wee logic brain out – what is the worst that can happen? Will this matter in 6 months/5 years?? (chances are no!).
Emotions are our bodies way of saying something ain’t right – listen to it – and allow it – if the same thing comes up over and over and over again (and not necessarily appropriate) then do something about it – see me (acupuncturist), get some talking therapy (I can recommend a few folks), get out in nature, change your job, whatever it needs to be – listen to your body and respond.